Breakups can be painful. Especially, if you really put your hopes into the relationship. It’s understandable to feel like you’ve been done wrong and to be thinking of the other person a lot. You may even still be wishing you could get back together. Or, you could be feeling an emptiness and/or rejection. This is all due to the fact that we develop deep bonds, even if it’s not the best relationship. We form attachment bonds that can take time and work to sever. So, how do you move on and recover from the loss?
These Bonds Take Time To Sever After Your Relationship Ends
When people go through a breakup, they are actually grieving the loss of the companion and the imagined future they were going to have together. They are grieving the absence of the person they had a strong attachment to, and this can lead to feelings of emptiness. You may be wondering why you’re feeling like this and it all boils down to the attachment bond. This can take time and effort to break, but it is possible.
Grieve Your Loss After the Breakup
Suffering from a breakup is actually a form of grieving. It’s you grieving the loss of that person along with the future you had in mind. They are not there, there’s only emptiness and it hurts. That bond is being broken. When you are grieving, it’s important to let yourself go through the process and allow your emotions to move through you like a wave. Allow yourself to witness these emotions, happy, sad, angry, etc., and be kind to yourself. Don’t try to stop your feelings or push them away. This will only hinder your recovery process.
Dissolve Those Attachment Bonds
Basically, first and foremost, break all contact. Even if it’s only a little contact or if you browse their social media, the bonds will still be there. Do whatever it takes to completely cut off contact and move on with your life. This could mean deleting them from all forms of social media, blocking their number, and/or unfollowing them.
A way to help you process your emotions while also breaking these bonds is to use journaling as a form of expression. Writing down your feelings can be helpful in understanding why the relationship had to end. You can reflect on the reasons why and start to make sense of what happened. You can also talk to a friend and talk through why this relationship needed to end.
All Relationships End For Good Reasons
Relationships always end for good reasons. Whether we understand them or not is entirely different. You can take time to get clarity as to why the relationship had to end. This can be done by reflecting on your own story and understanding the other person’s. It can also be by talking to a therapist or simply allowing yourself time to process your emotions.
There is always a reason why things happen and it’s important to understand that this ended for a good reason. You may not understand it now, but things have a way of revealing themselves. Take this time to reconnect with yourself and focus on healing.
Forgive Yourself
When relationships end, it can make us feel as if we failed and that we should have done something differently. However, it is important to forgive yourself and understand that relationships are a journey. You may have done something differently but that doesn’t mean the relationship would have still worked. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for any mistakes you may think you made.
If you have the ability to, forgive the other person too. Forgiving the other person is really an outgrowth of your healing. This is absolutely not the goal of your healing, but it may come along with forgiving yourself. Take the time to heal and forgive. After a breakup is a time when you can deepen the connection with yourself and get to know yourself in a new way.
Remember, it’s okay to grieve the loss of this relationship and the future you thought you were going to have. It’s also okay to take the time and effort to heal. Give yourself permission to go through the process of healing, forgiving, and reconnecting with yourself. This time can be one of the most transformative times in your life if you use it wisely.
Interested in Couples Therapy in Gallatin, TN?
Breakups can be tough to go through but it doesn’t have to get to that point. Working through your issues with a couples therapist before the relationship ends can help you both understand each other better. Or, if you have gone through a breakup, a couples therapist can help you process your emotions and get to the root of what happened. At TN Mental Wellness, we will support you and your partner to find understanding and clarity in your relationship. Or, we will help you process your emotions, and heal after a breakup. If you’re interested in learning more:
- Contact TN Mental Wellness
- Meet with a Caring Therapist
- Start Healing and Reconnecting with Yourself!
Other Mental Health Services Offered by Tennessee Mental Wellness
At Tennessee Mental Wellness, we understand that breakups can cause a lot of pain and we want to support you through your journey. This is why we offer a variety of mental health services to meet your unique needs at our Gallatin, TN-based therapy practice. We offer services such as Anxiety Treatment, LGBTQIA+ Therapy, Art Therapy, Divorce Recovery, Postpartum Treatment, and Brainspotting. Other services offered include Health Coaching, Divorce Support Groups, Online Courses, and Corporate Seminars. Feel free to learn more by visiting our Blog or FAQs page today.
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