It’s the new year and everyone is talking about resolutions. As someone who has been struggling with the same thing for a very long time, resolutions can feel like a helpful way to actually make a lasting change. Or, they can be a source of anxiety and frustration.
Maybe you’ve been in a yoyo situation with the thing you wanted to change and have experienced both moments of nailing it, only to then fall off the wagon. It can be incredibly discouraging, and even bring up feelings of self-loathing. However, are New Year’s resolutions actually helpful?
The answer to that question depends on your approach. If you’re going into a resolution with a sense of self-judgment or shame, it’s likely not going to be very helpful. It’s important to approach resolutions from a place of love and clarity for yourself, and your individual needs. When we’ve really connected with ourselves and what makes us feel strong and fulfilled, then setting a goal from that place can be good for you.
When you think of it as a resolution, it implies that this is something you need to do in order to be worthy or successful. But when you think of it more from the perspective of creating a goal out of what would make your soul so happy to feel strong, then it becomes much more about self-care. For example, if your goal is to go running three times a week, it’s not about punishing yourself for not being in shape, it’s about taking care of yourself and your body.
After yoyoing for so long, it can be tempting to try and change out of self-loathing or judgment. However, whenever we try to make changes to ourselves from these standpoints, it never works. In fact, it usually just backfires and makes us feel worse about ourselves. For example, you’ve been struggling with your weight and body image for a very long time. You’ve decided that this is going to be the year where you finally make a lasting change, so you set a goal and create some resolutions.
However, in the back of your mind, all you hear is your inner critic saying, “I’m so worthless. I can’t do anything right.” or “I’ll never be able to stick with this.” With this mindset, any goal or resolution you set is just going to be another thing that you’ll inevitably fail at. Along with giving you anxiety and feelings of self-doubt. No matter how realistic or achievable the goal is.
So, you may be wondering, “How can I actually make a lasting change this year?”. The answer lies in cultivating self-compassion. Self-compassion is the foundational step to any lasting change. Whether that’s navigating body image, managing anxiety, or anything else. Self-compassion is the key to creating positive change in our lives that will actually stick.
There are resources such as selfcompassion.org that can help you learn how to cultivate self-compassion and become more mindful of your inner critic. Ultimately, self-compassion is treating yourself how you would a friend. Would you be so critical and harsh towards them? Or would you be kind, understanding, and forgiving? Setting resolutions or goals with this mindset can be far more helpful in creating lasting change because it allows for failure, but also for growth and success.
Resolutions can be helpful when we have reconnected with ourselves and our goals, out of love and clarity. It’s important to approach resolutions from a place of self-care and understanding, rather than judgment and self-loathing. When we see these “resolutions” more as goals rather than something we have to do, it can help us create lasting change in our lives.
Resolutions can give us anxiety and trigger self-doubt if they are not coming from a place of self-care. Working with a therapist can help you cultivate self-compassion and navigate any anxiety or worries that might come up in your journey of making lasting change. At TN Mental Wellness, we provide a place to cultivate self-compassion and learn healthy strategies to manage anxiety. If you’re interested in learning more:
At Tennessee Mental Wellness, we understand that a new year doesn’t always mean a “new you”. However, it can mean a new start and the opportunity to work on areas of your life that need attention. This is why we offer a variety of mental health services to meet your unique needs at our Gallatin, TN-based therapy practice. We offer services such as Anxiety Treatment, LGBTQIA+ Therapy, Art Therapy, Divorce Recovery, Postpartum Treatment, and Brainspotting. Other services offered include Health Coaching, Divorce Support Groups, Online Courses, and Corporate Seminars. Feel free to learn more by visiting our Blog or FAQs page today.