For many women, the path to motherhood is filled with emotional hurdles, especially when faced with fertility struggles. As sensitive as this subject matter is, it is something we feel is important to address when so many women experience infertility and postpartum depression, and learning to cope with the challenges that they bring. From the deep desire to conceive to the heartache of setbacks, maintaining mental health in motherhood requires strong support and understanding. In this blog post, we shine a light on the importance of emotional support, coping mechanisms, and the struggle with self-blame during the grieving process.
As a trauma-informed practice, we view all mental health symptoms as rooted in trauma. Challenges during pregnancy are no different. The mother's mental health is extremely important for herself and the baby and can be strained during this time. While pregnant, your body will go through extreme physical and emotional changes. Hormones will be wild and your body will be uncomfortable and hurting at times. All of this alone is traumatic. However, it is exaggerated when experiencing postpartum depression, infertility, or the loss of a child. The first step to strong mental health during motherhood is recognizing this and understanding that you are not to blame for the trauma you experience.
While our bodies are resilient, postpartum depression is a legitimate concern for any mother. Postpartum is much like regular depression, except with the added stresses and body changes of pregnancy. For first-time mothers, they are often worried about learning the ropes, breastfeeding, and more. For mothers with older children, there are the worries of taking care of those children along with a new baby. Combine that with hormones and all the juggling of everyday life and it becomes a lot for the woman to maintain. That is why therapy is suggested for validating the mother’s experience, lifting her out of those low places, and helping her overcome postpartum depression.
Medication is an often overlooked treatment for new mothers experiencing postpartum due to concerns about the side effects it can have on the child while nursing. While this is a valid concern and can pose its challenges, studies show that certain medications are safer than others and are viable alternatives. Overall, it’s important to know that you don’t have to make decisions about medication by yourself. Sitting down with a psychotherapist and a provider can offer up some other options and resources for treatment without forgetting the health of the mother or the child. Medication isn’t anything to fear or be ashamed about. It is often the best route for mothers going through postpartum and a very relatable one that can benefit you and your baby. Remember that your mental health will affect your child.
Postpartum and infant loss are incredibly sensitive subjects for women to talk about. Most have experienced some form of loss of fertility or a child. It is truly a grief that cannot be denied. Allowing yourself the time to grieve and come to terms with the unfairness that life can bring is so important. Time is a hard thing to deal with, but it does bring healing with it. Along with that, therapy and a strong support network are the best outlets for the healing process. Finding these safe places full of empathy and solidarity is relieving for mothers. They help you acknowledge that it is not your fault and that you are not to blame. And that is something that all women who experience postpartum or loss of fertility need to hear.
A mother's mental health during and after pregnancy is something many women want to avoid speaking about due to fear of sounding like a bad mother or someone who needs help. The truth of the matter though is that this time of a woman's life presents many challenges and stresses to their mental health. Acknowledging it, getting the treatment that’s best for you, and maintaining support from those around you can make all the difference for both mama and baby.